There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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