Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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