Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
