Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
