I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
