if you like me you must not know who I am
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
