Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
