I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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