Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
