It's like God shit irony all over that family
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
