This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Its about making memories worth repressing
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
