Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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