Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
