Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
