What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He passed out mid-signature
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
