I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
