I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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