So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Randomize
