Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
