I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
