and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
