When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I hate all girls vehemently.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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