Sry I called you an 8
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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