Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
