I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
