I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You're completely useless in the revolution.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
