a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
