Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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