using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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