He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
