he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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