So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
