he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i've created a new STD.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
