Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
