he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
