so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
