Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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