Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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