Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
