its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
