one might say we're banned from that church
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
