Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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