So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
