the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
