just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
