so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
