I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize