i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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