Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
