There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
