Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
