Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
