he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
