But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Let's get the cat blown out
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
