then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My life is pants optional.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
