Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
